#Mother Legacy A Journey of Destiny (Eng)

My Mother Lim Ah Yapp 林亞葉 (1901 – 1988) came from a simple traditional village family 廣東省中山縣汕頭 in Huangpu, Zhongshan. Her parents had a medium size farm growing food to feed the family, and they sold any extra in the local market. Every able person in the family has to contribute on the farm. 

This song by Celine Dion to say Goodbye to Mother is for your listening pleasure while you reading the Legacy of my late Mother “A Journey of Destiny”. The original legacy was written in Chinese Mandarin. If your mother is still with you, you are lucky and blessed with love! If not, and you miss your mother, then this song will be your message to your late mother!

As mother was growing up, she has to help her mother to do household chores – as a daughter, they expected this of her. While her mother is busy in the fields or tending to the younger children, my mother would light up a wood fire stove to cook rice and boil water. She does household chores like cleaning the house, washing clothes and also learning how to help on the farm. All girls in that time have to learn to do those essential chores.  As the children get bigger and stronger, they go to help in the fields and the younger ones have to take over with house chores.  That was the way it was back then.

As a teenager under family pressure, My Mother, Lim Ah Yap, was betrothed to marry a younger very sick teenager in a very desperate attempt to a ward off the ‘illness-evil’ in him.  This was an old Chinese tradition belief, that if in bad luck, find the lucky stars. This teenage boy was critically ill and his family were desperate to save him. He was too sick to attend the wedding ceremony, so a rooster/cockerel was used as a proxy.  Unfortunately, this did not work because the young boy dies within the same day. His grieving family blamed mother for not being lucky enough to save him and blamed her for his death. Mother cannot go home to her family because as a girl, once you are married out, you belong to your husband’s family – even after his death. This family viewed her like a bad omen and treated her harshly like a servant – working inside the house, laundry, carrying water for washing and for bathing for all the members of the family. She had to go to the forest to cut and carry wood for cooking and heating, as well as working on their large farm.

Under such harsh living conditions she grew desperate – there is no hope for her. She was a widowed, bad luck – she could see no change in her future, she is going to work for this family and treated cruelly for the rest of her life.  

One day, she secretly escaped with a few friends (maids) in similar situations.  They made their way to the city, where many new developments were in progress. Together, they found a small place to rent and ventured out every day looking for any manual work. Because of their previous fieldwork, they were all physically strong and found jobs for a road construction company. 

Using hammers and chisels they had to break larger rocks into small pieces and carry them to the road site. It was back breaking physical labour but my mother and her friends did this job for rent, for food, for their freedom – I can just imagine that this is the first time that they are working to earn money for themselves, for their freedom and independence. This all adds to their determination to survive and seek a better future.

Whilst out collecting wood in the forest for cooking, my mother heard people talking about going abroad to abroad ‘Nanyang’ 南洋 where there are job opportunities working as a house-maid with better living conditions. Seeking a better future and a fresh start, she seizes opportunity and makes her own decision.

At that era, people wanted to leave China to earn money and find their fortune. Many wanted a new life. The British commercialised migration that they offered those intending migrants who could not afford the fare from China passages on credit or indenture contracts. On arrival, the employer claimed the indentured labourer to whom he/she was bound by the terms and conditions of his/her contract.

They detained credit migrants on the ship until the recruiter found employers for them. These immigrants had a bad time living like a livestock and the Chinese referred to it as “the pig business.”

Mother was a little better in her starting venture because the employer found and employed her while visiting China. Her employer paid her passage, and she signed a 2-year contract with no salary. The employer took her to work in Labuan as their house maid.

Here ends the first part of my mother’s story. This story is what I remember and I am hoping my siblings might recall more! Please comment if you have enjoyed it or if you have some more information.

My mother is Hakka that I like to share some Historical Fact: This is a typical Hakka housing in round shape as ‘TU LAU“土楼”  they designed it as a community hub as well as a fortress against external invasions. There is no window on the ground floor, just a shared living room, dining and kitchen. The second floor mainly used as a storage (so no window too) The third floor is divided with partitions for privacy, among family, that the only floor with windows – their bedrooms.

There is a water well in the middle of each “Tulou” as a central water source for every family who lives there.

A bamboo hat, called a “cool hat”凉帽”, wrapped in black cloth, it keeps strong sunlight off the face, while allowing air in. female wears 凉帽. Women wear the same pants with wide pant legs as men when working in the field. 客家妇女戴传统的客家帽子，称为“凉帽”

REFLECTIONS

Alone I sit and dream of you, mother, in a room so full of lights, but I didn’t see you with me. Through the door you have opened, the horizons are never too far building bridges over land and sea on a ship that I know you are coming to meet us so far away. The horizons are never far. It is time for you to say goodbye to your parents.  

Credit: Thank you for the contributions from the following teams:

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